💥 My Biggest Boundary Mistakes & What I Learned From Them 💡May 10, 2023
I continue to learn lessons about boundaries, but these three have been lessons I actively decided to stop learning and start internalizing.
I worked with coaches, told my therapist, picked up some books, made it a real priority. And then I practiced. And then I fucked up and got better and then eventually…got really fucking good at it.
Good enough to spend my professional career coaching other people as they create, set, communicate, maintain, and otherwise grapple with boundary setting! Fun stuff.
Here are the top three mistakes I made, and what I learned along the way:
1️⃣ Giving until there's nothing left: I used to think I needed to give my all until I was completely drained. I learned that leaving something in the tank is crucial for sustainability and self-care. 🌱💖
- Prioritizing self-care: It's important to care for yourself first so you can better care for others. 🛀🌟
- Understanding your limits: Recognize when you're reaching your breaking point and take a step back. 🚧🔋
- Practice saying no: It's okay to decline requests if it helps protect your well-being. 🚫👌
2️⃣ Keeping "obvious" boundaries unspoken: I assumed some boundaries didn't need to be expressed out loud. I learned that it never hurts to communicate clearly, even about the "obvious" stuff! 🗣️👂
- Clarity in communication: Make sure everyone involved understands your expectations and limits. 📢📚
- Don't make assumptions: What may seem obvious to you may not be to others. 🤔❓
- Regular check-ins: Touch base with others to ensure everyone is on the same page. 📞🤝
3️⃣ Being inflexible: I used to refuse to waver, even when it wasn't crucial. I learned that flexibility is key for maintaining and redefining healthy boundaries. 🧘♀️🔑
- Assess what's truly important: Know when it's okay to bend and when to stand firm. ⚖️🎯
- Embrace change: Life is dynamic, and adapting to new situations is essential. 🌊🌈
- Compromise and collaboration: Work together with others to find solutions that satisfy everyone involved. 🤗🌉
If you’re struggling with re-learning your own boundary lessons, and you want a coach to walk with you as you stop struggling…I’d love to be that coach. In one-on-one sessions with you, group sessions in my group container Community Support, or just in your email inbox.
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