Make and Keep Appointments

I started the Tough Love Self-Care Challenge in late 2017, and one of the precipitating factors was learning the following piece of information:

Research indicates that women, particularly mothers, are more likely to schedule and attend medical and dental appointments for their children and spouses while postponing or neglecting their own care.

I had been guilty of this exact thing at the time, which is what led to me changing my life and then challenging others to do the same. That’s literally why TLSCC exists. 

As we move from the O (Occupational Self-Care) in the ROPES Framework to the P (Physical Self-Care), it’s time to talk about making and keeping your medical, dental, and optometric appointments. 

It should go without saying, but the Internet has made that simply impossible, so I’ll say outright, If healthcare is entirely unavailable to you, then this message is not for you. This message is for the majority of individuals to whom health care is available in some iteration (from the local dental college for cleanings all the way to functional concierge medicine) but who are not engaging the services to which they are privy. 

Good? OK. Moving on—

I want to challenge you to schedule your overdue appointments. 

Today. 

Schedule them today. 

Do it. 

It will take so much less time and energy than you’ve estimated, and you will be so proud to put them in your calendar. 

Remember that someone having to miss a ballet class (or whatever) because it’s the only way you can make getting a physical done is not selfish. 

Selfish is putting your wants above other people’s needs.

You need to have regular dental cleanings. 

Your kid wants to do ballet (or whatever). 

See how that works?

Not. Selfish.

Actually fuck it let’s do one more example:

In your family of four, you take turns picking the restaurant for a weekly dinner out. This week, it is your turn. Both kids and your partner have said how much they want tacos. You want pasta. 

Is it selfish to type your fav Italian joint into Waze instead of going with the majority and saying tacos?

Nope. 

Exhibit A:

It’s your turn. Remember? Everyone gets a turn, and this week is yours. 

Exhibit B:

They do not need to eat tacos. They want to eat tacos. 

Exhibit C:

You want to eat tacos, and it is your turn, and your want is not overriding the needs of your family. They will all eat dinner tonight. They will all be in community tonight. They will all experience acceptance and safety. 

And they can do it by the slurp of the noodle, damnit. 

Eat your pasta. 

Make your appointments. 

Set the example for those kids.

It’s now or never, baby. 

Xo ox

M. 

P. S. If you know someone who needs to schedule appointments for themself, please forward them this email ! And hi, if this email was forwarded to you, please sign up to receive your own emails right here.